How.....

[MightyMouth]

can you get a dog who is nervous being handled to calm down? Lyla will sit by you and on you and even kiss you sometimes but if you pick her up she is obviously very uncomfortable. She gives all the nervous calming signals....licking lips, yawning and looking away. Do we just have to accept the fact that she doesn't want to be handled?

Shame coz she is a wee tootie and sooooo hugable:077:

[wendy]

Thats a hard one
I think sometimes we have to just accept them for what they are, They are like humans in many ways and everyone different.
I dont know much about this sort of thing I am sure someone will come along who knows tons that can help
but if she were mine I think I wouldnt push it and enjoy her just the way she is

[Meerkat]

the gorgeous weee tootie is a wee tootie indeedy :078:

I don't really have any advice - except hand her to me

[MightyMouth]

Tis really strange because when you get in the house after being out she will be picked up and kiss you and have cuddles but if you try to do it any other time she does all that calming stuff or she actually grumbles at you!

[terri]

MM you could be describing my Grace..
i don't think it helped getting her at 13 weeks old...when the cructical socialisation should have been taking place..
then on top of this she was not vaccinated so had to wait a further 3 weeks before i could even take her out..so that made her 16 weeks old..

as some of you know i have had issues with Grace..and this has got worse...i have recentley had her spayed..but this has made no difference to her temprement at present..( and maybe never will..i knew this anyway)
i don't think you can change her now...as Grace is almost two now...and very set in ehr ways..
Graces is more nervous aggression which is alot harder to turn around if at all..
i have just learnt to accept Grace for what she is..she is nothing like my other cockers..who are all the typical merry cockers..who love everyone and everything..
grace does not like being handled..and will not give eye contact..shakes in your arms...and hates strangers...
so we have learnt for her to appraoch people in her own time..if she does'nt want too ..then she is left....and will come to you in her own time ...

sorry to ehar you are going through a similar thing..i think you will just have to accept Lyla for what she is..just like i ahve with Grace..and love her for who and what she is..faults and all...
sorry not much help...
xxxxxxxxxx

[Karma]

Honey's never been a cuddly Cocker - though I have noticed the less we try and force our affection on her, the more willing she is to approach us for some loving!!!
She will now snuggle up on the sofa with us, but if we try and stroke her too much while she is there she gets fed up and moves away!!!

[MightyMouth]

You both could be describing Lyla. Hers is definitely nervous aggression but not really bad. She will play, sit next to you (although she is like Honey and move away if you fuss too much!), cuddle into you in bed, kiss you sometimes and come over for a pet but everything is on Lyla's terms which is ok by us. She will go berserk at strangers but if they just ignore her she will end up on their knee! We have learnt to do everything when Lyla wants it and not before but when you have a cocker that is soooo cuddly like Kali, it is really hard keeping your distance with Lyla when all you want to do is cuddle her. Very strange because she will wait outside doors for me and doesn't leave my side.......queer little fish!!

[jean]

how about bribing her..?
have a tube of primula and let her lick it as you pat her so that she eventually perceives attention as a rewarding thing rather than having it foisted on her. Its worked with cora and scary strangers.. tho Cora hasnt been born timid she has learned to fear people. theres a difference, pepper was born timid it came down her father the springers line although he himself was a calm dopg he threw nervous pups. pepper is mildly fear aggressive and will growl or airsnap if pushed too far ie say tied up outside and a stranger tries to pat her ( obviously I dont do this) or when she is on lead being approached by strange dogs or humans.. if she cant escape she will react. However pepper is very very cuddly as are all my lot in the house. rolo can be a bit aloof but likes to control the cuddling.. he allows it for so long then moves off. the rest would stay forever being petted. when it suits Rolo he will be petted for ages .. hes an odd wee dog.:053::077::053:

[Tanya]

We call Louis the grumpy old man as he will come on your lap and snuggle, but if you want to 'hug' him and give him a kiss then all you'll get in return is a growl....he doesn't like to be smothered at all, and he has such baby smooth kissable skin on his neck that is very hard to resist at times :076:

Don't force her is the obvious thing, but I like jean's idea with the primula :044:

I don't remember her being standoffish with me, or has she got worse since the summer?

[Fluffy]

I mean really!! don,t they KNOW we want to kiss and snog them all the time??? i think they are messing with us..lol,it,s not fair and totally unreasonable,they are like a take away,desperate for one,but always too far to drive to lol xxx

[Kimberley]

Coco is a very nervous dog, but he loves nothing more than to be held like a baby he even puts his head under my chin, Breeze had never been picked up and went into mad panic when I did it first, she wriggles about even now but, is getting better. When I pickmine up I take them to the mirror as a slight distraction from being handled.